Today, I sit in the kitchen with all the doors and windows open. It feels like Dominican summer today, with the roof trapping the intense heat, the subtropical sun giving no mercy, and the sweat sticking to my skin like candy. Declarations of “hace calor” can be heard everyone as everyone fans themselves.
I have lived here for a little more than a week and I’ve begun my “work,” though you can’t define it by American standards. My work is rather ambiguous because I’m my own director, boss, employee, etc. I make my own schedule, I have my own meetings, and many times I just sit on the galeria, pondering. I have a lot of ideas, many of them requiring months of planning and several discussions with the key players, so during these next few months, I have been tasked with organizing myself.
The Peace Corps has designated these initial months as a period of discovery and investigation. Now, I’m supposed to make friends and develop “confianza.” I need to learn my community inside and out and investigate the logistics of the technology center where I’ve been assigned. It seems most people see me as an English teacher, but I have to be wary not to fall in that trap, because I’m not here to teach English. I’m here to enhance the IT program at the center so that everyone can have access to it – from children to professionals, from people who can’t read and write to people who have university educations. Also, I want to interweave basic education into the program. As my secondary projects, I would like to form health- and education-awareness clubs. We have a radio station at the center, and there’s a TV station in town, so I hope to use these resources to create awareness as well.
Though I don’t have any concrete results of my work yet, I spend everyday observing. Through my observations, I’ve discovered the extreme lack of environmental consciousness. Trash is just carelessly tossed everywhere and motorcycles and cars operate on propane tanks that emit damaging fumes; it’s rather heartbreaking considering this is such a beautiful country. Furthermore, there is a devastating lack in sex education here, and the results are heartbreaking. Yesterday at a meeting of community leaders, I met a hospital employee who announced that just last week, they had 11 people leave the hospital HIV positive. She also cited the high rate of teen pregnancies (some girls as young as 13 or 14). She implored that the parents take responsibility and educate their children. In regards to information technology, a vast amount of people have never touched a computer. I visited the principal of a high school, and he told me that he knows nothing about computers. It’s hard for us to imagine, but moving a mouse intimidates many people. Such things we take for granted, but here, they are huge issues.
Perhaps my biggest challenge right now is communication. I was a communications major; I pride myself on arguing effectively, on trying to communicate my thoughts as clearly as possible. No longer can I take my mastery of language for granted. Now, I have to think 3 times as hard if I want to say anything, and if I’m tired or my brain is fried, I stumble to get anything out. I have to be extra attentive when people are talking to me. If I lose a few words, I’m lost.
Life is not easy right now. I have a lot of responsibility and I’m trying to get a grasp on how to handle it. What do I do with this? I was an assistant in all my previous jobs, but now I’m a director of sorts placed in this ambiguous, unfamiliar environment. When people see me, hope just spreads across their faces. It’s a large responsibility. I can never be a miracle worker. I’m just one person who has her own tribulations, but I hope that I can meet some expectations. The pressure is very palpable, but I just have to keep telling myself that I will do what I can, when I can. I have to be “tranquila” about it and take small steps.
I look to the future when I feel discouraged. I think, just imagine where I will be 6 months from now. I will be doing things I never thought I could! I will have a place in the community; I will know Spanish!
I’m timid, lost, and a bit confused, but when, in my whole life, have I experienced such a challenge? It just reminds me how alive I am, and I can do anything.
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