Heartbreak

Dear Readers,

It has been quite a while since I last blogged. Let’s just say I’ve been busy dealing with a major life change…

My boyfriend of 5.5 years and I broke up this past week. Of course, this is a deeply personal subject, and I considered not posting this, but the reality is this is part of my Peace Corps experience. The experience itself is not all rainbows and roses; there’s a lot of pain mixed in as well.

This is my first broken heart, and of course, I’m dealing with it in a foreign land. However, I am not alone. I’ve realized that I’ve made some incredible friends here in just a short amount of time (almost 8 months). People have been reaching out to me, taking care of me… ( I would like to take this moment to thank a very special friend, Stacie, for helping me through this. She has been a real angel, and I’m deeply moved by and grateful for the kindnesses she has bestowed upon me.)

In all of this, I have to come to grips with who I am and why I came here. This is a real test in focus and will. I’ve learned that I have accomplished so much personally since I’ve been here, that I can get through this great challenge now. I appreciate the very special relationship I had with my boyfriend, but now it’s time for me to move on and find ME. I will emerge from this break-up and this Peace Corps experience in general a much stronger person. I will know myself more intimately than I ever have before.

Life is never what you expect it. Things don’t always happen as planned. I planned to endure in my relationship with my boyfriend for these 2 years, but that’s not how it’s going to be. As I’ve learned so profoundly in this country, everything is “Si Dios quiere.” Nothing is certain, and things can change suddenly.

So small steps. I’m going to open myself up to the change. Embrace the beauty of it. Just stop, breathe and take it all in…