I spent last week editing our biannual Volunteer magazine. Here's a piece I submitted...
Finding Peace in Yourself
Summer heat in the Caribbean!! The excessive sweat. Painfully loud motos, screaming children, music vibrating your house. La luz se fue. Lack of decent chocolate and ice cream. Chisme. Being over-committed. Being under-committed. Incompetency in Spanish -- still. Heartbreak. Missing someone from home. Machismo. Failure. Always the awkwardness. Being misunderstood.
One by one, these stressors aggrieve[1] you and compound into one giant nightmare until one day you’re just not feeling yourself. You’re feeling disconnected, unmotivated, lost, lethargic and depressed. Welcome to the “one year y pico blues.” (These symptoms also indicate the “Crap! I’m living alone! Blues” or your standard case of homesickness as well.)
You think you’re alone, but you’re not. I’ve found in my (un-empirical) study of the subject that when you talk to someone of your cohort, you find that they indeed are also suffering from the symptoms of one-year blues.
So how do we remedy this nasty disease? You can try the usual Vitamin C, Echinacea, green tea combo to boost your immune system (We don’t want you to get physically sick also… That just exacerbates the matter.). But what else? How can someone find peace amid all this uncomfortable chaos?
According to the experts (citing Thich Nhat Hanh and Dr. Boriana here), simple breathing exercises help reduce stress. The breath is your life force, so re-energize yourself! First sigh, exhaling everything. Just empty your lungs and at the same time expel all those negative, worrisome thoughts. Then breathe in deeply through your nose, making sure you’re breathing with your diaphragm and not your chest. While breathing in, say to yourself, “I’m breathing in, I’m calming my body.” Then breathe out through your nose and say to yourself, “I’m breathing out, and I’m smiling.” Even if you don’t want to say all that to yourself, just simply saying, “in” and “out” to yourself will help you focus on your breath.[2] Maybe you can focus on how you’re inhaling all the goodness in the world, extracting every benevolent molecule and exhaling all the waste, the worry, the negativity that bogs you down. Lessen that weight, my friend, and feel yourself becoming lighter.
In Peace is Every Step, Nhat Hanh says that practicing different types of meditation such as walking meditation, driving meditation, and telephone meditation are useful ways to bring you out of the past or future back to the present moment. That is, they encourage mindfulness. I particularly like his description of walking meditation. When you walk, you should walk with just the intention of walking, not with the destination in mind. As you walk, slow down your pace and concentrate on your steps. Step carefully, delicately so you’re gentle to the earth. Don’t kick the earth in haste, but be kind to it. Pretend that with each step, you are planting seeds and flowers sprout. I find that I’m able to practice this type of mindfulness when I’m walking home from work at sunset. The air is cooler, the sky is a delightful pink-orange, the white gulls fly gracefully, the hills behind my town look so majestic and serene. When I concentrate on this sublime panorama, time stops, and I instantly feel calm and happy.
The Earth has a great power. Not trying to be a “tree hugger” here (though I think most of us are), but I remember resorting to nature when I used to experience stressful days in New York City. I was constantly worried about money and finding a freelance job back then that I would begin to feel so out of sorts. So I would take a blanket and go to an expansive park near my house. It was big enough so that if you went to the center, you could barely hear the regular city noises. I would find a large shady tree, place my blanket under it, and just take a nap on the soft earth. Sometimes if I didn’t have a blanket, I would just plop down in the grass. I was closer to the earth that way anyway. I could feel the energy of the earth renewing me, and when I woke up, I would be optimistic again. Simple yet healing.
Also, look for energy within. When you feel down on yourself, stop concentrating on what you’re not doing and start thinking about what you are doing. Concentrate on what you’re good at (hint: it may not be obvious to you, but really try to ponder this). I just tried this method today. I said to myself, “What am I good at?” And then I remembered some friends, on separate occasions, telling me that I make them happy. So I’m good at making people happy, and I know I definitely make people laugh because I’m good at being awkward. What a great feeling to know that you can elicit a smile from someone.
Other suggestions for finding peace? Seriously, talk. Talk with all your might. Talk to your doña (or if you’re like me, try a “sitting-in-silence-with-the-host-family meditation”). Talk with your peers. Talk to yourself – out loud, in a journal, in song.
Furthermore, set aside some time every day to do some meditating and/or yoga. You can download free podcasts from Yoga to the People (based in NYC yay! http://www.yogatothepeople.com/tryOnlineClass.shtml) and YogaDownload.com.
Or run! Run away! I did a running meditation while I was running the half-marathon in June. I highly recommend you do the same. I considered the race a metaphor for this experience. At first, I was energetic, wide-eyed and optimistic, but by the time I made it to the halfway mark (11 km!), I felt my stamina waning. But there was no way I was going to stop. I had to endure the pain, the utter distress, and the immense desire to give up! Like Peace Corps, I needed to finish – and I did! I crossed the finish line relieved and ecstatic, my arms flying, my smile protruding. So visualize your finish line, but don’t forget about the experience of getting there. I knew my goal, but I also found myself enjoying the quirky running styles of others, the cool water trickling down my throat, and the bountiful, robust clouds hovering in a sunset sky.
Moreover, I’ve found quite a bit of inspiration from reading. Of course, I’m referring to Thich Nhat Hanh’s Peace is Every Step, but there’s also: The Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman, Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin, the Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz, and Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.
And of course, hanging with the bros or chilling with ladies, a jumbo bien fria in your lap, doesn’t hurt either. If you spend most of that time laughing, even better! Laughing cures everything.
Yes, you’re in a lucha. We all are. But guess what, you should be proud. How many of your Stateside friends and family have lived in a developing country in less than attractive conditions among the gente for two years? I would venture to say only a few. Consider yourself successful!
You know what it takes to make yourself happy. So get off that plastic silla and get to it! Get movin’ on making some positive change in your life. Go out and find YOUR peace.
[1] If you’re studying for the GRE like I am, this word may jump out at you. I’ll try to include a few more to assist with your studying regimen.
[2] Nhat Hanh, Thich, Peace is Every Step, New York: Bantam, 1992.
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